Warning : this one is about periods

A few months back, I read a review from the Paleo Parents on natural menstruation products. It actually got me thinking about waste and how much time/energy/packaging tampons take up. So I sent it on to the gf and she read it and did a lot of research. She ended up buying the Lunette Cup, one product featured on Paleo Parents' blog. I was skeptical and afraid considering my endo and wanted to wait it out. So I let her try it a few months and I then ordered mine. My period came out of nowhere on over the weekend and my cup was not ready to go...silly me, I hadn't boiled it to get it clean yet and I was still hesitant to this process. But then, I took the plunge.

As someone living with endometriosis, I honestly was unsure how this cup would feel. Would I feel it? Would it aggravate me? Would it cause a flare up? I couldn't find research in the endo community around it so I wasn't so sure. But then I tried it. I have been using it for a day now and I'm very happy. My cramps are not even close to what they use to be but I do have a sore abdomen from the aches inside. I'm still on my pain regimen of Ibuprofen 3 times a day but this cup is amazing.

I had a lot of reservations about how to empty it, clean it, get in and out but it's not as hard as I thought it would be! I'm really into it and it's kind of cool to see the 'clots' as whole pieces and there isn't any cotton keeping everything inside. Tampon users, you know what I'm talking about! It's an amazing little silicon miracle worker!

The company boasts you can wear it 12 hours without changing it. Well, I wore it for 9+ and I needed to empty it so I think I have to purchase a bigger size or just empty it more regularly before bed. The company sells multiple colors, an amazing smelling cleanser --made from natural ingredients including essential oils, and cleansing cloths for when you're on the go.

I really like it and I'm really surprised I like it. I think it could be changing the way my period works for me. And how my body responds to my period. I think it's really cool, easy, and there is literally no waste (unless you use the cleansing cloths). I'd challenge anyone out there to give it a go. It's cheaper than tampons in the long run. It also has better reviews than the Diva Cup. The starter pack on amazon was $40 (cup and cleanser) and I would spend $40 on tampons, pads, etc for a month or two. This thing will pay for itself! It's really nice. I'd say give it a go! That's my review :) Happy day!

Update: Day four and my period has ended. The Lunette Cup for the WIN. I did have a rough morning yesterday with cramps but it was a different kind of cramp. And it wasn't because of anything other than me forgetting to take my pain meds. It was an easier period and the cup has really changed it. My period in the past few months has lasted closer to a week and I think on day four, it's over!

I'm so impressed. As someone living with endometriosis, I can't believe how much easier period was this time around. It's never been this easy. I'm a firm believer in this cup!

Living authentically

This is a powerful quote and something you should remember when you are journeying into any new endeavor but also when you are moving through the world. It's taken until three years ago for me to be able to be authentic. I really didn't know what that meant. I feel like at this point in my life, I'm living in my most authentic skin. As a result, I think people are more inclined to be my friend and to be themselves around me. Maybe this is why students come into my office and just gush....something to ponder!

How does this apply to my Paleo life, my active life, my scholar-practitioner life? Well, that's easy! I'm true to myself and the way my body needs nourishment and I refuse to follow a strict way of eating that limits me and doesn't allow me to enjoy the things I enjoy most. In terms of activity, I do what I want. I go to barre, I walk (I try to get at least 8000 steps during the work week and my goal is to increase on the weekends), I work out at the gym sometimes. I just do what feels good for me. I love that. I love that my way of life is for me and no one else.

Staying active

This weekend was very busy in terms of physical activity. We did a lot in terms of walking, barre, one of us did a crossfit workout while the other rode a stationary bike (that was me) and we walked to and from the house we are checking in on. It's been awesome to be moving so much. On the weekends, I rarely get to my goals on fitbit but this weekend I made them all! I made some conscious choices and got off my butt. I know people who make a point to move extra on the weekends but to me, weekends are made for "slothing." But not anymore. I need to make a conscious effort to be the best possible me I can be.

I find that if I spend time watching tv or just laying around, I don't want to do anything else. Because I'm in school now, my time is even more precious. I must make time for all things I want to do including being physically active. I know too many people who let that go while they are engaged in PhD work. There has to be balance so I can stay me.

For me, active life isn't about working out excessively, it's about moving around and making sure my body isn't stationary for too many days.

This body is the only one I have so why not take care of it? If I don't pay attention to the cravings for movement, food, water, leaning, etc, I'll fall apart. So everyday make a choice to take care of this one vessel you've been given. Try new things and surprise yourself!

Be Vulnerable

My new anthem is going to be "be vulnerable."

Something my week at NSO taught me was to allow myself not to be the expert; be a sponge, be vulnerable to everything, especially the process of starting school and today, I applied it to Barre.

I've been going to Barre for over a year and today humbled me. I was a wreck. I thought it was because I hadn't been in a week but it wasn't about that, it was new and challenging. Challenges change you. If I'm not vulnerable to challenges, I won't grow. That being said, I just slowed down, took it in and fell into the space of vulnerability. How special that I have found this place? How amazing that I am giving myself permission to be a primary school kid again (that's my mentor's favorite phrase). I do not have not have to know it all. I do not have to be the best in the room. This is a marathon NOT a sprint.

Apply that to eating.
Apply that to life.
Apply that to work.
Apply that to school.
Apply that to working out.

You will burn yourself out by starting with such force that you cannot sustain. How important is that lesson? It's not about how quickly you do things. This is something that has taken me A LONG time to understand. 

When we are vulnerable, we open ourselves to new experiences and challenges. There is no point in becoming comfortable because things will always change. I'm so happy to be internalizing my mentor's advice so early. It's going to make a world of difference in all aspects of my life not just my studies but my eating, my working out, my relationships.

Hero

It wasn't until college that I found folks to admire. I wasn't that kid who had a hero who was a celebrity. I really didn't find my place until I was at Clark. I didn't find people who truly believed in my until I was a junior at Clark. So to this day, I have few mentors and fewer folks I look to for advice and for guidance. In a lot of ways, my years at Clark and the countless times I sat on the Dean's chair across from her, looking at her photos and thinking what a wonderful dean she was, I was lucky. I saw in her something I wanted to be. It was from that experience that I knew I wanted to be a dean. Well, I've been on the road to Dean-ship since I graduated grad school but tomorrow I begin my latest strategic move toward that goal of becoming a dean of students. Tomorrow I begin my PhD program. I really did not know if I would make it to this point. Not many of you know my educational story so I think on the eve of my going back to school, I shall share:

Settle in with some coffee because this is a long one....

When I was 7 or 8, I was diagnosed with learning disabilities and held back in the second grade due to a catastrophic death of my grandfather and the divorce of my parents. I wasn't attending school the way I should so the kept me in the second grade. From the diagnosis I was put into special education classes. It was a space that allowed for me to take extra time on things but it was really torture. Those "classes" completely failed me. The teacher was awful. I still remember her. She had no desire to be there and had no desire to actually help us. I was acting out in class and my parents were being called a lot for various meetings.

Flash forward to high school: I had two teachers that actually gave me and my intelligence the time of day. One of those teachers started tutoring me and that helped because I could sense she cared. But other than her and her class, I was drowning in my lack of being able to focus on my work or my academics because I was also figuring my identity out and choir gave me a chance to focus and really be around people who "got me." I fell in love my junior year of high school with an amazing human who was a year younger. She was so smart. AP classes and here I am in special ed, being told I was dumb, not getting good grades at all but she loved me too. I started skipping classes and getting detentions, then I'd skip those and get In-School suspension but then I skipped that by telling the teacher I had an exam in choir--who believes a 17 year old??? I did stint in summer school as to not be held back again but then another catastrophe happened...not for this blog but to give you context, my girlfriend's mother discovered our love and I moved in with my dad. 

Moving in with my dad was the best decision I ever made. I made a conscious choice that I was worth more than what I allowed myself to be. Yes, I have disabilities but I figured out who I was and I was comfortable with that. I didn't see anyone at my new high school that looked like me but I found the most amazing group of friends (we are all still friends to this day). I was welcomed and loved despite my past. I was accepted into this group with no questions asked.

Luckily I think I was able to forego special ed classes which was awesome! I was just like everyone else! I started applying to college and was rejected by every school, except one but I wasn't in love. My family decided to send me to a community college...BEST DECISION EVER. For two years, I was able to focus on school and getting involved. I was so involved. I became the Student Government President and with the belief of some awesome people, including my new partner, I was applying to transfer! I was learning about various colleges and was doing so well, I thought, let's go for a reach school!

Clark was my top choice. I didn't care about my SAT scores--which were maybe 1000. My parents and I went to Clark and visited. I remember very clearly my parents being skeptical that I'd get in because of my past in education. The Director of Admissions didn't seem phased by my past and was certain that I would get in. Boy was he right! I applied to three schools: Northeastern, Clark and American University. I got into all three and Clark was number 1! So I went. I did well in classes. And that's how I met my mentor, the dean I mentioned earlier.

It was at Clark that I met the most supportive people. From faculty, to student affairs staff, to admission staff, all of whom I keep in touch with; I was cared for and felt like I had a place. I have friends from Clark that even after all these years we see each other. I made some of the best friends there. I found my voice at Clark and found a place to consider home. (I should be donating more money then.) 

I'm telling you all this because it's been in the past 10 years that I've become what I wanted. A supportive mentor for students. I have become someone that I would have admired. I reach every day for my goals to give students, who might be just like me (struggling, longing, wanting to be accepted and wanting to thrive) someone to look up to. So I became who I needed 10 years ago. I keep that goal in mind as I wake up each day.

And tomorrow, I embark on the next section of this dream. Become a dean like the ones I had at Clark who accepted and loved me and pushed me to dream big and not accept failure. They challenged me to change the world and I'm doing that, one day at a time. Tomorrow I become a doctoral student. I do it with all these memories and stories right inside my head. I carry all those people in my community in my heart as I enter this new stage in life. I'm nervous but I do it with everyone cheering me on. Another day closer to Dr. Verlezza. 

Cooking the perfect steak

I have perfected the perfect medium rare steak.

First, get the skillet or pan hot while the pan gets hot, pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Take the steak and put it in the pan on medium-low heat. Cook without disturbing for 5 minutes then flip. After both sides have cooked, season--I'm using Primal Palate's meat and potato seasoning. Cook for another 5 minutes on each side in butter (or ghee). Then stick the steak in a pan in the oven for 15 minutes (flip in between). Let rest for another 5 minutes and voila! Perfect medium rare steak. 

Under the steak is organic jasmine rice from trader joe's. I did eat the ENTIRE plate of food and feel so good. Perfect meal in just one hour.

Enjoy!

It's the month of anniversaries!

January is my Paleo/gluten free anniversary and I'm celebrating THREE years this month! I'm so excited. Three years calls for another before and after photo! Also this month is my Barre-aversary! Last January, I decided to start Pure Barre. Mostly because my friend from college, Leslie, was OBSESSED with Bar Method and I felt like I needed something in addition to Pilates. I really was nervous trying Barre and in all honesty, hated my first class. I kept thinking "What in the hell did I get myself into?!" I was so sore and miserable, during the class and after. But I went back and found my groove and my people. I knew I'd regret thinking awful things about it but I allowed myself to be mad because it was awful for someone who thought they were fit. I was wrong. HAHA.

Here I am 180 classes later and a year committed to it! Another milestone. I'm amazed that I can stick to something. It's not really my M.O to stick to things--well it wasn't when I was a kid so the fact that I've been able to drastically change my life twice and maintain that shift has been incredible.

Barre has really changed my body. I'm including pictures because I feel like we all do best with photos

Timeline of Change

.

This photo is from Dec 2013. I've posted it before but it's before I started Paleo and Gluten free lifestyle.

 

This morning. Three years of Paleo and gluten free and one year of barre.

I took this photo the morning I started Barre, January 2nd 2015. You can sort of see the difference.

After one year of Barre, I'd say my seat is lifted! Its rounder and higher than the January 2015 photo.



And because I promised a stretch mark photo. I have been dry brushing for over 2 weeks, every day. I was dry brushing only my stomach but I thought, "let's do the whole body!" so before I shower every day, I dry brush my whole body. My skin is softer and isn't as dry/flakey due to the cold weather. Also, like many folks, I have stretch marks around my thighs, chest and hips. So I figured I might as well try those areas, too! It's not terribly painful and I can stand it for a few minutes.

I looked in my albums on iphoto for a before stretch mark photo and can't find one because I was really embarrassed by them. I think a lot of my shame around my stretch marks has to do with how quickly I gained weight and how unhappy I was with my weight. As I said before, I use to have pink/purple marks all across my stomach. Now you can barely see them. I'm pleasantly surprised with this transformation. I'm really thankful I took this leap of faith. I use to obsess. I asked my chiropractor how to get rid of them and he said sun so I would lay in the sun in the backyard for like 30 minutes to tan my stomach to make them go away. That never worked well. I thought "okay, what else?" I figured lots of sit-ups. NOPE. Now I'm a believer. Dry brushing is the way to go. That combined with eating and exercise and wham! Invisible marks!

 

Thanks for taking the time to read today! Do something for you! I'm going to enjoy my day with some good people and prepare for my adventure into PhD land starting Monday.